We didn't need a Tisha Ba'av movie after all.

I spent 30 minutes trying to find a movie that fit the appropriate Tisha Ba'av mood, aware that my teen, like all kids in Israel, has lived through too much heavy stuff the last few years.

I played him the trailer of a couple, and he said, "This feels too much like Oct 7th to me..."

Made sense. Scenes of violence, Israelis, refugees, escape. Too close to relive that today.

Holocaust movies are a hard no for me. I've watched too many in my lifetime. Read too many stories. It's not fiction to me. It's my family story. It's what I write. Baked into my DNA. It's not a mood setter. Just no for today, thank you.

After searching and searching, I couldn't come up with something that would be a good fit. I'm a terrible faster, and I'm still going, so I just didn't have the energy to be clever about it.

So I gave up.

I put on the superhero movie he wanted, and even though there was plenty of violence, and tension, and gore- I just let the movie play.

I woke up anxious and stressed anyway. He woke up anxious and stressed too.

Every twenty minutes in the movie, he'd make me pause and look at his notifications, and tell me something horrible that happened in our corner of the world.

"Whoa Ima, did you know how bad the war is getting in Iran right now? When do you think it's going to come back here?"

"Omg Ima, there was a terror attack in the Shomron. With a fire. And stabbing..."

"Ima, the Mayor of Ramat Gan opened all the public bomb shelters across the city because Iran might attack us over Shabbat..."

"Should we pause the movie and set up the bomb shelter? Go food shopping? Ima, what do you think? Are we going to be attacked on Shabbat?"

I gave him all the assurances I could.

I let the superhero movie play. And every so often I wiped a tear away so he wouldn't see.

If you ask me what the movie is about, I honestly have no idea.

He paused it to go to mincha.

And all I want to do is the opposite of the energy of the day.

I want to submerge him in comfort.

Ease. Deep breaths. Certainty. Safety.

He'll come back, and we'll finish it.

He'll complain about how hungry he is, cuz he's 13.

We will check in about our supplies. Start reorganizing for a pending war.

Maybe he'll fall asleep.

Given everything, we didn't need a Tisha Ba'av movie after all.