How loud the world has become

Today is my 39th Hebrew birthday.

Every year on this date, I like to take a moment to reflect on where I am in my life.

Other years have centered on productivity, healing, patience, gratitude, alignment, and rest.

This year its been about being present in the moment.

I learned long ago that I have minimal control over the world around me.

Mainly, all I can control is my own mindset and my choices.

So in a world gone mad, a chapter of grief and rage and struggle: this year I chose to make myself still in small ways.

Taking twenty minutes to sit on my swing outside and enjoy the fresh air.

Noticing how much my work brings me joy.

Feeling my body glide through the water in the pool.

Grounding in my chair, the softness of a blanket, the warmth of my puppy.

Turning my brain off when I chop some vegetables for dinner, the smell of challah in the oven for Shabbat.

In a year that has been filled with life-altering geopolitical events like two Iranian wars, the hostages being released, rockets from the Houthis and Hezbollah, political games and drama, protests and rallies, and violence...

I learned to stabilize myself so that the crisis didn't stop me from functioning.

So that I could get up every day, put my shoes on, and continue to create, write, connect, and find life worth living anyway.

And there was so much to live for this year.

This year, I witnessed miracles. National and personal.

I had success, by myself and with a team of people I adore.

I wrote, collaborated, workshopped, and created.

I moved and adopted a dog (today is one year since we brought him home!)

I met a new community and stayed in touch with others who bring me joy.

Mostly, I loved and loved and loved.

The older I get, the more I learn what a privilege it is to grow older and have people to love.

The older I get, the more I see how we make our own peace.

That grief and suffering are always there, and it is not a betrayal of them to take moments for joy and nourishment too.

That relationships worth having take hard work, compromise, understanding, and effort. The deep ones are never easy.

That you can fill yourself up with gratitude to sustain you-

Gratitude for everything in your life.

Gratitude to God for giving it to you.

Gratitude to yourself for being open and appreciative.

On this 39th birthday, I hear how loud the world has become.

The outrage.

The fear.

The endless noise.

But this year, I learned that I can adjust the volume.

That even in a world shaped by uncertainty, I still have choices.

I can choose to notice beauty.

Choose to stay soft.

Choose to create instead of collapse.

Choose to love the people in front of me.

Choose to build a meaningful life anyway.

Maybe that is one of the great tasks of life:

not waiting for peace to arrive,

but learning how to make pockets of it ourselves.

And so I bless all of us with moments that anchor us back into our lives.

Warm meals.

Deep breaths.

People who feel like home.

Work that matters.

Laughter that interrupts the heaviness.

Faith that survives the noise.

And many more years to keep becoming.